life, lime and lemons

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, find someone whose life gives you vodka, and have a party

Leaving the past in the past April 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 12:33 pm

How do you deal with the X factor in a new relationship?

I am given to understand that men, in general, are territorial creatures. Specially where their partners are concerned. They say your past does not matter but they still ask. You know they want to know.

So whats the right thing to do here? Do you confess all? Do you sweep it aside and start afresh?
What does confessing it all help achieve?

To me, it does not matter at all. Its not to say I am indifferent but it doesnt bother me. It doesnt mean I care less about the person. I understand that he had a past. A past that did not include me. What I am thilled about is that his future does.

When I look back, I think about my past with a smile (and at times, with “what was i thinking!”) but there isnt any emotion involved. No regret, no anger, no misery – no matter the end. It was what it was. Some of it was youth, some of it was silliness, some of it were lessons that had to be learnt at some point of time or the other.

When I look ahead, I realise I wont miss what I had in the past. Been there, done that and got the tshirt.


10 Responses to “Leaving the past in the past”

  1. Coffee Messiah Says:

    Although once in awhile “the past” may makes it presence in one form or another, it means nothing really.

    Relationships should be focused on the here and now, ’cause we can all go in a wink of an eye…..


  2. gomu Says:

    🙂 awesome!

  3. Just call me 'A' Says:

    the fact that it’s called the past implies that it is something done with and moved on. else it won’t be the past, nay
    The key is to leave the past behind, else it will never leave you.
    here and now is what is important.

  4. I scribble here Says:

    🙂 “what was i thinking” is mostly how i round it off
    i have my share of bittersweet memories and who doesnt. in our case, its wierd.. cus i want to tell him about the silly things i did, silly men i bumped into etc and he is just not interested.. its annoying sometimes infact that he really doesnt bother..

  5. N Says:

    CoffeeMessiah, i love your simple yet powerful pearls of wisdom 🙂 im glad u decide to share them with me!

    Gomu, 🙂

    A, yeah thats what Coffee Messiah said too. I guess its easier to have a perspective on your own past but urnt sure about someone else’s.

    Scribbler, 🙂 i want to tell him too so he knows and is never caught unaware…coz i think that makes things worse but like i said above, sometimes its difficult to have a perspective on someone else’s past. so you and me may look at our past with a roll of our eyes and know it for what it was …..will they also take it in the same way?

  6. Aathira Says:

    First time here… and what a perfect post to land on! 😉

    I speak the outline and make it a passing reference. I do not offer too many details, and in fact they have not asked me the details either. I mention what resulted in the culmination also.

  7. marathoner81 Says:

    I’ve always found…”what does it matter, I’m with you now.” and then quickly diverting to something he wants to talk about or do works wonders.

  8. mandira Says:

    lol@what was i thinking!
    making more sense to focus ont eh future…for obvious reasons…the past is gone… n it was good in its own way…but this is the here n now, rt?

  9. Poonam J Says:

    Wow….so simply said. From a personal perspective, I feel past is dead and gone, especially with relationships that were not meant to be. What I have learnt from them is what I carry with me, and that I can share…
    You rightly say….No regret, no anger, no misery – no matter the end. It was what it was. Some of it was youth, some of it was silliness, some of it were lessons that had to be learnt at some point of time or the other….so we share what we have learnt, the rest is not important. Nice Post N..

  10. K Says:

    I took too long to comment. everyone’s said everything. And besides you know what I think 😀

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