life, lime and lemons

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, find someone whose life gives you vodka, and have a party

Who is responsible? June 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 2:39 pm

The above links are to articles in popular newspapers about a recent rape incident. There has been much public outrage about it. I understand that. It makes my blood boil too. What I dont understand is the blame game that is now being played out.

Parents are pointing fingers at tution classes that start early in the morning. They want them to change their timings, appoint security outside their classes. Parents now accompany their kids to these classes if they are too early in the morning or too late in the evening.

Fingers are being pointed at the police for not doing enough, for not being alert enough, for not being efficient enough. I will refrain from commenting on how much truth there is in this complaint.

There has been a call for a fast-track court trial for this case. A crime so heinous should be brought to trial and justice must be served without delay, they are saying. They also want a system that makes victims feel secure enough to speak up.

This case has also threatened the already weak communal ties. It seems we are talking about everything else but the accused.

How come no one is saying that what these boys did was WRONG? Why are we not pointing fingers at men, no matter their age or religion or caste, who are committing this act of violence every other day? Why are we not asking for a more accountable and disciplined behaviour from men? Why is no one questioning why a girl, no matter their age or religion or caste, must fear walking on the road in a free country?

Just because men are unable to behave in a responsible manner, why must I bear that burden? Why should a 17 year old or a 40 year old either? How long do we keep rolling our eyes at their violence with a “boys will be boys”? Are we, who do not ask men to shape up their act and instead point out to 1400 other factors of time, place, clothes the victim wore, also to blame for this act of violence?


9 Responses to “Who is responsible?”

  1. K Says:

    There is a serious need to have some kind of program that works towards behavioural change of boys and men. The worst is the cop who said, that the girl went into the car, because she was caught in a compromising position with that classmate she was standing with…*wtf*….*beep beep…beeeep*

  2. Anonymous Says:

    ok im pissed!! i wrong u a long comment and bloggers dint accept it!!!!ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH

  3. Says:

    now because ur bloggers rejected my nice, long comment, im gonna say it again in a nut shell..
    as a society we are strange..we tell our daughters how to behave, how to talk, walk.. we tell them wat the expected behaviour is when they we ever give such detailed instructions to our sons?no. they can do wat they like, no restrictions, no questions asked..while the poor girl has to be responsible and mature in all situations.. so when something goes terribly wrong, as in the case of rape, we look at the girl again and lay the blame there…may be she wasnt dressed properly, may be she was too loud..too hep.. the boy simply goes scot free. i think there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we bring up our sons. seriously.
    PS:phew..that was not wat i shud call a nut shell!!

  4. edita krishnan Says:

    i've run out of words…its unfair. bloody unfair.period.

  5. Optimistic Pessimist Says:

    I agree. It all comes back to the men who do it. Parents need to teach their children right from wrong and enforce it. Obviously this doesn't always do the trick, but it can't hurt.

  6. I scribble here Says:

    i dunno! is there a way one can change them, the men i mean.. its all to do with one's upbringing.. i read the other comment by K,now what kind of program can work towards behavioural change in men- nothing! a "program" cant change the way they think, the way they are..

  7. Nancy Says:

    Seriously…nothing enrages me as much as RAPE!!!!!!!!

    I tell anybody who is willing to listen….”Bloody hell, just cut it off”. When a few get punishments like tht, every wannabe rapist will think twice..thrice…10 times b4 attempting the dastardly act.

  8. anjuli Says:

    I totally agree with you on this one!!! It infuriates me. I can understand the necessity to ‘add security’ and to make things safe- but I cannot fathom why people are not more angered at the culprits.

  9. limenlemons Says:

    my point is this – why cant we crib about a society that does not offer security of women rather than crib about a system that doesnt take care of women AFTER they have faced violence?
    i dont know whether a programme would work, whether parents educating children better would work……
    but i know that we, as a community, need to change the way we think.

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