Every few months, I indulge in a clean-up exercise. It would normally mean just clearing up a few things here and there in the room, gazing thoughtfully at a lot of old clothes (sure, Ill lose wieght some day to fit into that), cards (but its from her/him, cant throw it), photos (of course I need photos of the same place from 3 different angles) …… eventually, deciding that I would use them at some point of time and putting them back in the cupboard.
This time around I was rather ruthless with myself and my stuff. Of course, the reason for the clean up was rather a big one too. The move. The permanent move.
Part by part, I dragged out my stuff, lay it on the bed and made seperate piles. One, to keep and the other, to discard. I refused to let up and go easy on the little sentimental section of my heart. If you were to peep into my cupboard now, its half empty. If you were to take a peek into the drawers in my room, they are half empty too. As I stood across from a friend and watched the “funeral” of a lot of old photos, cards, letters and random stuff I had collected over the years (random stuff that needed to be properly discarded!! 🙂 ) she asked me how I felt. I shrugged then at her.
This process has been a way of making space for new memories and new memorabilia. It has driven home the point of the change, the move and starting out on a new phase in life. Its facilitated the shift of mental gears.
It was, I have to admit, not so easy to let go. I “wasted” a lot of time getting caught up reading old notes or over the good times captured in the photos – texting or calling friends about it! I was tempted to pull back quite a few things from the discard pile and *sigh* gave in to that temptation a couple of times. A friend got me to pull back a couple of things simply ‘coz some things a girl must never let go off! 🙂
Waves of nostalgia were probably at their highest in the past week and I rode through them. In return, I refreshed my memory, found a few absolute gems to treasure forever, laughed over our shared pasts and readied myself to move on.