Thats what I am now.
Its ironic that I miss home so much. All my growing up years I plotted to leave it as soon as I could…..and I did too. In those young years, I hardly missed home or the people there. Its not even been a month since my last visit and I cant wait to go back already! 🙂 Yesterday I watched old episodes of SATC for no other reason but that I missed my friends and the fun times we had. Maybe I have too much time on my hands….
Which brings me to the lazy bit about me. I have been sitting on a job offer for the past week. Among a couple of reasons I am hesitant, one is a wee bit of insecurity. Its been a while since I worked. Like most other jobs, this requires a certain amount of discipline and commitment. I wonder if I can do it again. That insecurity aside, I think by now laziness has crept into each bone and nerve in my body. I think I might actually be fond of this limbo I am in (its a scary thought!) There may not be any success in my life but at the same time, there is no failure either. So I have all these ideas and I have all these plans but truth be told, its all a darn fantasy in the air! I havent lifted a finger yet to making it come true.
My life feels derailed. Sometimes, a restless energy comes over me to want to get it back on track. For some reason though I am not pushing forward and fall back into the comfortable blind limbo.
The upside to all my ranting is that in the end of it all, I am sharing my life with a wonderful man 🙂