Adopting your husband’s name is the norm in India. There is no thinking twice about this issue. You get married and henceforth you take your husband’s last name as your own. In certain communities, they even change the new bride’s first name (but thats a story for a whole separate post ‘coz of course i have such strong views on it!) Other than the whole traditional belief behind this, its known to make life simpler for all – from dealing with banks to government etc. I can imagine raised eyebrows in some birthday party where your kid shares her parents’ names and both have different last names! Oh and the pain you may have to deal with while travelling abroad! Anyway.
I did the needful too…..for the sake of all the official formalities in this country. But I realise my resume still reads my maiden name. So does my facebook page. So does the management profile page at the firm I work. So does all my correspondence, even my new ( 🙂 !!!!) business cards. I still think of myself as XYZ ‘Maiden name’. That has always been my identity and I just cant imagine changing and effectively losing it.
Just so we are clear and on the right track here……I like being married! 🙂 I am happy where I am. This isnt about the issues of married life. I am also quite proud of the boy and his family. This isnt about being ashamed to take their name either.
I have noticed some women who have had no qualms about adopting their husband’s last name. From Day 1 of their marriage, they have proudly displayed their new names. Is it that certain people have a stronger sense of self and identity as compared to others that they find this name change difficult? Does the change in name necessarily mean a change in identity? Or do you, like Shakespeare, believe that calling a rose by some other name doesnt change what it truly is?