life, lime and lemons

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, find someone whose life gives you vodka, and have a party

The 80/20 rule May 30, 2011

Filed under: Marriage — limenlemons @ 2:59 pm
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This rule states that most men get 80% of what they need from a marriage yet they tend to go after the 20% that someone outside can provide for them because it appears to be more to them when it really isn’t  (Source: Wikipedia)

The movie, Why did I get married, introduced this 80/20 rule. I recently came across it through a read on marriages. It brought forth a few thoughts to me, though I am sure each one has their own interpretation of it. The most obvious topic ‘cheating’ I will leave for another post altogether.

Lets widen the scope of it for today and apply it to more matters than one – the physical, mental, sexual and emotional.

Dont we tend to look at the 20 we are not getting from our partners rather than the 80 they are selflessly giving us? It’s hard to keep our eye on the 80 our relationship offers us and so much easier to come up with the 20 where it lacks. I admit I have been guilty of this on a number of occasions. Is it an inflated sense of self-worth or what you feel you deserve that makes us react this way? Are we just being human by wanting more? Food for thought……

 

 

 

Communication – An art? May 23, 2011

Filed under: Communication — limenlemons @ 2:37 pm
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At work, I spend a lot of time on communication, assertiveness, etc. All this very specific to women. Everywhere I looked, books or the internet, everyone talked about communication as an art….and one that women more than men are lacking.

Over time, though, I have realised that the real art is being able to swallow your tongue! Shut up! Bite it! Hold back! And so on…

I think we may be overemphasizing this whole communication thing. Is it really necessary in any aspect of our life to convey each and every thought to each other? When we do, how many times does that conversation really go the way we want it to?

In not-so-easy situations, we psyche ourselves to communicate what we think/feel. It has been weighing on our minds forever. It bugged us and hence we must ensure that the person responsible knows about it. So we spend our energy and time and – in figuring out how to communicate this effectively. When this does happen, you feel a little deflated….. it just didnt go as you thought it would. Maybe the other person had some logical answers for you or maybe they just didnt get the point! Maybe then….it would have been better for everyone if you had just not said anything.

We still dont learn our lesson, do we? We are out there….wanting to say whats on our mind all over again.

 

Look whose back! May 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 1:49 pm
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Oh boy! WordPress got some new features! How long was I away! (Your Cue: “too long!!!”) 🙂

While I was away I did not win a Booker Prize nor did I find a cure for cancer nor did I climb any high mountains…..

However, I …..

  • Celebrated my first wedding anniversary
  • Completed a year at my new job that I absolutely love
  • Was ecstatic at the arrival of a few nieces & nephews to the family
  • Discovered some interesting things about the new city
  • Picked up a few words in a new language (local language)
  • Saw overwhelming and breath-taking sights  – the temples of Cambodia
  • Partied hard in Bali and Bangkok
  • Got closer to turning 30! oh dear!
  • Battled (/battling) a few health issues
  • Went back to violin lessons
  • Discovered a little more about faith and trust and love
  • Created some more moments with family and friends to treasure forever

Oh and discovered that writing is so much fun! 🙂

 

Then there are those days…. July 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 12:17 pm
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Some mornings you question why you should bother getting out of bed…..

Some days it all doesnt seem to have a point….

Sometimes you just lose the motivation to care……

 

Liar, Lair, Pants on Fire… June 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 3:12 pm
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Dont you sometimes wish that the rhyme was in fact a reality? It would make life easy. No more guessing, no more wondering, no more assuming.

They lie, they catch fire, you have your answer! To make it more interesting, maybe the fire can be in direct proportion to the lie. Big fat lie deserves a scorchingly hot big fire. Teeny white lies could be signalled with just a puff of smoke.

Because……what do you do when you are sure you being lied to but no matter what angle you question the other person from, they are sticking to it! Hrmph! The bigness or whiteness of the lie doesnt matter in some cases. It becomes a matter of principle. Hrmph hrmph! All you need is the truth to be admitted and you can move on. The fact that the lie is proving to have such strong sticky adhesive powers bugs you more!

 

Dear Lord, I ask for…. June 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 12:14 pm
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Patience!!

It has been my  morning prayer today. Along with some amount of compassion (coz love would probably be asking for too much) and sensitivity (coz you are always asked to understand others’ points of view) and all those other things that make you a better person; that allow you to rise above certain situations; that make it easier to co-exist with others. I’m praying real hard.

Its one of those days when you make a list of all the good things in your life, all the things you love and count your blessing thrice (atleast!) ……so you can face the challenges and the crap and the crazy that comes your way.

Its one of those days when your eyes tear up for no reason, when nothing seems to go right (…your way), when most of your feelings border on hate, when there is so much anger and rage in you…you are certain the steam is blowing out of your ears.

Its one of those days when you can’t think of any other way to deal with the above mentioned emotions but to indulge in the most sinful, most gooey, most delicious chocolate cake……and I would do it (gosh sooooo tempted!) but it would be such a waste of the hours I put into the gym every week (….. and not to mention the amount of anger I may feel towards myself for such a sign of weakness!) Even worse what else may work is a stiff drink……(Worse is that thought coz it’s just noon right now!!)….maybe with some loud mind-numbing music and dancing till your legs hurt so bad you cant think straight……

The trip back home is a long way away. I hope I can stick it out till then………

 

**** May 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — limenlemons @ 1:44 pm
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“I miss us…..

But I dont know what to do about it……

So I just ignore it.”