The ‘new’ life sure is eventful! These days each hour brings forth a new lesson. Its fun, exciting, overwhelming, exhausting, upsetting all at once.
Everyone around me is so excited and helpful. Be it teaching you the easiest routes or sharing tips on best restaurants or salons, I see every one going out of their way to pitch in. There are endless invites to lunches and coffees. There are genuine attempts to being friends. There are constant efforts to provide me all I may need. I have obviously never experienced so much attention ever before 🙂 but isnt that a two edged sword? As much as I love it it means getting used to its side-effects.
Earlier if your mother cooked 3 different dishes for dinner, you would ignore one without thinking twice……just ‘coz you didnt feel like eating it. I do that now and am faced with (well-meaning) questions whether I dont like it, whether I dont eat it ever, whether the cook should never make it again. Chances are I probably didnt think twice and may not even have a reason for ignoring that dish.
Where once I would sit in my room all by myself for hours spacing out on music, now I realise it may worry the others whether I am bored or missing home. Where once I had the room to myself at the end of the night, I now am learning to share my space with another person. Where once you could easily seek the comfort of your best friends’ company, now either you are too busy to take the call or its not a good time for them to talk.
Where once I could bravely face any sarcastic, mean, angry comments and give back what I got, now there are times when the simplest and most innocent of comments tear me up. The Boy’s sister gave me a piece of advice; hear what others have to say from one ear and take it out from the other…..dont let anything go south (to your heart) for the first year of the marriage. Obviously I am not doing a good job of following her advice and take everything too personally.
A friend put it well recently. Everyone will have an opinion to share and they will do so gladly. Every one will tell you what you should be doing but no one shares the important bit on how to do it. I have realised that weddings and marriages brings out the pop-psych in everyone 🙂 There are endless suggestions on strategies to deal with the husbands, the inlaws, the neighbours, the pets! I think what works best though is to just smile and go with the flow. Its different but I guess the key is to enjoy the difference and treat it like an adventure.
Every now and then, there is a gesture or an effort that makes you fall in love all over again…..that makes you feel like you belong……that makes the slightly harder days worth it all.