life, lime and lemons

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, find someone whose life gives you vodka, and have a party

Ways your memory can fail you October 30, 2009

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………..are never-ending.

Especially if you have one like mine, that tends to completely wipe itself out.

They were showing the movie, ‘Message In A Bottle’, the other day on TV. I know I had watched it years and years ago but I had absolutely no recollection of the scenes as I watched it again. I had a very hazy memory of the storyline but wasnt sure how it all played out. At the same time, I also kept having this feeling that I should not be watching this movie…….that there was a reason why I shouldnt be except the reason had been erased by my mind!

So I stayed up watching it when I knew there were 1300 other things (of course related to the wedding) that I could be doing instead. I am way too curious for my own good and I just needed to know how it would end. When the end of the movie did roll in, I knew why I shouldnt be watching it. The end just about broke my heart.

I hate sad endings in movies! If only my memory had served me well, I would have recalled that this movie had a sad ending and not continued watching till the end and felt sad and heart-broken. **sigh**

 

The Curious Case of Old Age April 17, 2009

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There was a line in the movie that hit me more than everything else. The story is interesting, I just wish the pace hadnt been as slow as it was. I think it would have had a much greater impact if it had been more crisper. Benjamin uttered the words that are still playing in my head. (disclaimer: not the exact dialogue but close)

“……….I feel like I have forgotten a lot of things…….. like I forgot a life i had…….things I did in the past……”

That summarises my fear for old age.

Every night I attend to a family member who suffers from no horrible disease but old age. Her dependance on others is frightening. If we didnt hold her, she would be hurt very easily. If we dont change her, she would be uncomfortable all night. If we dont feed her, she would be hungry all day. Its been a while now since she could have helped herself. There are moments when its just the two of us in the bathroom and as I wait for her to be done, sometimes impatient at how long I have been waiting…..our eyes meet. I know she hates it. My fear is that helplessness.

She doesnt remember names. She doesnt recognise anyone. I wonder if she remembers the life she led, the kids she had, the things she got a chance to do and the things she didnt, the joys, the struggles……… coz if she doesnt, I wonder what the point of it all was. If we all go back to our diapers, why did our mothers put so much effort in to toilet training? (sentence not to be taken literally!) My greatest fear is that all the highs and lows I experience now, all the dreams and visions I have now, all my thoughts may not even be my companion towards the end.

I know what I am really glad for though. Thank the lord that these intense movies have such good looking men as lead actors!! (Ref: Revolutionary Road/Leo Dicaprio) Their good looks help take the edge off it a bit!

 

The Relationship Road March 23, 2009

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Let me state the obvious at the start. Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet are awesome actors! In the movie, Revolutionary Road, I think I looked at them as Frank and April(their characters) rather than Leonardo and Kate. Its also amazing how Leonardo looks good in any role set in any period in any storyline. One of the coolest things to watch out for is how his face conveys his thoughts even though his words tell a different story in the same moment!

One of the first comments made (more jokingly than serious) as the movie’s credits rolled in was it wasnt a movie to be watching when you are looking to “settle down”. The two characters that fall in love, get married and “settle down” together realise an emptiness in their lives. She fell in love with a man who had high aspirations for himself and their life together. Eventually, she realises (pretty much at the same time he does too) that maybe he didnt have any dreams to begin with. Through the movie, you realise that the space between the couple gets wider and wider. They yell and shout at each other but they arent really talking or listening to each other. So yeah, it presents a rather uncomfortable picture of ‘settling down’.

However, recently I came across some beliefs/theories of this really really smart person who refuses to believe that marriage and settling down mean life coming to a standstill. There have been a few things that have dispersed my fears of ‘settling down’. A warning that a full-stop to my life would mean a full-stop to his and viceversa. A reminder that this was just the beginning and though it meant changes, each brought to it their own dreams and aspirations. An assurance that if the dreams ran out, new ones could be created together. A support to ensure I reach out to my aspirations all the while aspiring for more. A promise of an exciting journey together. So when I look down the relationship road, I cant wait for the revolution in my life.