It started as a joke. 10 weeks of bachelorhood left. oooooooh!
He wondered whether he should be worried, whether there were going to be ‘limits’ set. And now I wonder “are there???”
Once you settle in to your late 20s (how I avoid talking about my real age!) you are pretty much setting your rules and living by them. It would be safe to assume so does your partner. If you wouldnt be like to be dictated to on what is allowed and what isnt, again safe to assume same goes for your partner. And yet I know of people doing exactly that.
I know of a couple that isnt allowed boys’ or girls’ night outs. I think it started with her being uncomfortable with his boys’ night outs and took it off the list. In return, he took her nights out with the girls off the list. Now, she willingly suffers through football game nights with his friends and he sits through dinners with her girlfriends. He secretly waits for her to tire of the game nights.
There is this friend who isnt allowed to get drunk without his presence. He, apparently, doesnt like it. Not that I recommend being drunk at every party but to fuss about not drinking at all at each party because someone else thinks you shouldnt doesnt make sense to me. If she turned around and told me she had reasons for her own for not drinking, I would understand. Similarly, if the boy in the earlier case had his own reason for not going out alone with the boys (like I cant spend an hour away from her, I love her!!) I would get it.
Its like this friend who isnt allowed to hang out with certain of his female friends. He hasnt given her any reason to doubt him. She realises too that it isnt a rational move but it hasnt stopped her from putting a cross against it. So he loses out on some good friends and she still struggles to explain the ban.
In every relationship, you adjust a little, compromise a little, give a little…….you do it FOR someone. When you start doing things BECAUSE of someone I worry that you may, one day, grudge that. Yes, it a partnership but at the end of the day, you are still an individual. How then can you impose your beliefs on to an other individual?
Of course all these thoughts may be a little premature……maybe I should mark this post, come back to a year from now and check whether they have changed 🙂 You never know what a year of living with someone and being married can do.